Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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