wakey wakey hands off snakey
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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