Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize