So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
