we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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