i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You peed on a flamingo?!?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
