He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
