THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize