FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
