Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
