were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
