Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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