I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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