So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
