i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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