At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I did not marry a roomba.
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