Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
