giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh god it's open bar.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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