Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
