He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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