its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
