It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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