He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize