no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
