Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize