You just made me feel so damn special
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
