Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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