Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
