i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
