I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
