i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
