I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
