dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
