what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
