I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
