Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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