whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
