so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
