id be glad to
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
