So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize