I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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