Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
