I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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