Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
