I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
