I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
