help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
