is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm going to jail i love you
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
