guys are not supposed to queef...right?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
