I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
