I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
