would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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