I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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