thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
