Fuck appropriateness.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The feeling are messing with the penis
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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