I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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