Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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