My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
