my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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