Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
