Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
