Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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